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I said goodbye to my mom a year ago today...

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Apr. 14th, 2007 | 12:36 pm

A year ago was the last time I saw my mom conscious. My life was a mess then.

I was
In bad physical shape.
Living with my parents.

I wanted to be with my girlfriend in her far off land, but there was no way I could give up what little time I had left with my mom. I gave up an opportunity, and it was gone.

I knew my mom worried about me. I promised my mom that I would be OK.

The next day my mom was unconscious when I got to the hospital with my family. I was holding her hand when she died. I went to the home of 2 of my best friends, and another good visiting friend. I told them the news. There was a party, but I didn't tell the guests what happened that day. I wanted happiness around me.

The next day was Easter Sunday at Great Uncle Dale's house. It felt like a wake, or at least what I imagine a wake feeling like. It was good to have so much family around.

Since then 3 more family members have died. Life got worse before it got better.

The people who came to cheer my mom up stopped arriving at the house all the time. My dad, and I were alone. It took me 3 months before I was OK enough to do anything about fixing my life. Now I have the best job I have ever had, even if it works me dry, and stressed me out a lot. I'm getting in shape. I'm not depressed any more. My life isn't "fixed" yet, but I hope my mom would be proud of me. I just keep wishing that I could tell her a little about it.

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from: lovemotionstory
date: Apr. 15th, 2007 04:00 pm (UTC)

your mom would be proud of the progress you've made and you should be too!

if you're missing your mom, there's nothing that says you can't just say the things you'd like to say to her out loud... getting it out and off your chest might feel better and might help you sort it out a bit..

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