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Am I a bad person?

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May. 20th, 2002 | 01:00 am
mood: Worthless
music: Astral Projection Nilaya

Read this comment. It really really hurt me to read it.

Is it wrong to want someone to be your friend? Is it wrong to want someone who is your friend to be a closer friend?

Truth be told I have no idea what I am doing when it comes to other people. Or life for that matter. My life is a joke. I'm not sure that anything I do is meaningful. Maybe helping others is, but for the most part my life is worthless in the eyes of others. I'm a scavanger, or a parasite in other peoples eyes. I give people far more attention than they want because I am lonely. I survive off of what little love they have for me. I try to give back, but I'm not sure if they want my love.

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Comments {2}


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from: rpenguin
date: May. 20th, 2002 12:42 pm (UTC)

Look, you're not a bad person and it wasn't my intention to hurt you. It's not wrong to want someone to be your friend, and it's not wrong to want someone who is your friend to be a closer friend. However, if you're continually trying to push to get closer to your friend, it can hurt your friendship and it can cause your friend to feel remarkably guilty if he/she doesn't feel the same way.

Also, just a general bit of advice. If you set yourself up to be a doormat, people will step on you. You're asking for it. Even if you don't believe it, act like you're worth something and people will start to see that in you and it will come true. If you act like you're worthless, people will start to treat you like that and see you that way regardless of your actual potential. So stop throwing yourself on your own sword, realize that there are a LOT of people in this world worth learning more about and if someone doesn't think the same of you then move on. Bottom line: helping others is great, but help yourself too.

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Daniel Patrick Johnson

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from: teknotus
date: May. 20th, 2002 06:57 pm (UTC)

I think I sorta understand, but I don't understand myself much less other people. When I have never felt something it is really hard for me to understand.

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