I'm happy right now. I thought I was getting sick earlier today, but I think that maybe I just sorta wanted to be sick. If I was sick I wouldn't have to deal with a lot of things for a few weeks. It would be a good excuse to just avoid life. I really don't think I should do that. Life is hard, and it's just so easy to want to avoid it. I really do want to spend time with people. Its the other stuff that is just so hard for me. Well actually its hard for me to be proactive about doing stuff with people. I wish people would call me. It wasn't that long ago that I couldn't open up to people. Not even good friends. Now a lot of people know that there isn't any taboo subject that I am unwilling to talk about with them once I trust them.
I got a few "I love you" messages tonight. One of them wasn't even drunk. I think thats a sign that after many years of being an outcast I am starting to get the hang of relating to other people. If I can sort out a few other areas of my life I think I will be a very happy person.