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May. 12th, 2005 | 12:58 pm
mood: meh

I don't know why, but for some reason things I actually like doing like writing in LiveJournal seem like a lot of work, and I don't want to start on them. I even get feelings of dread sometimes when I think about working on things that are actually pretty engrossing once I start. Maybe something subconscious is sabotaging me.

Yesterday I met brittyn for the first time, and fixed her computer. It turned out to be simple, and stupid, but far from obvious so I had tried a bunch of other things before I noticed what was wrong. She was nice, and kept distracting me with entertaining videos to watch, and we talked a lot. That probably added over an hour to the time it took to fix, but if I was just fixing a computer, and not doing any socializing I would have probably felt used afterwards. I've been used before, and not noticed. It's nice to have real pals.

Earlier this week I think I managed to get the backup program I wrote working, but haven't actually used it yet. It's actually pretty exciting because it is probably the most potentially useful to other people of all the programs I have ever written. I kind of want to work on it more. Maybe people would be interested in it.

On Saturday I volunteered for the no ivy league no ivy day. It was a lot of work, and it gave me a better sense of just how bad the problem is. Ivy basically kills all the other plants in the forest. Not even old growth trees are safe. There aren't any native animals that can eat it as food, so eventually if left to it's own there will only be ivy, and nothing else. Well maybe Himalayan blackberries, and starlings? But the part that makes it seem almost hopeless is how hard it is to get rid of. I think I cleared maybe 300 square feet in 3 hours, and at that one of the people from Hillsboro parks said I was exceptional. I think the average for the other volunteers was about 100 square feet. So the 15 people working on Saturday barely made a dent in the many acres of parkland. Pretty much every park in the area has a problem. That translates to square miles. There were free snacks, and an afterparty near the Portland farmers market with so much free food that they gave us bags to bring stuff home with us. The only thing that was obviously non vegan to me was the half, and half to go with the coffee. It was really good stuff too. Donated from "New Seasons", "Wild Oats", starbucks, and some places I didn't recognise, or remember.

When I got home I ended up taking out my moms ivy as a mothers day present. That took two hours, and was even harder work than the volunteer stuff. I guess any plant that survives being sprayed with herbicide on a yearly basis for over 20 years has got to be hardy. Basically I'm still sore from all that work.

Later that day I got an offer from a friend to let me buy his used laptop that he is replacing with a newer one. I have been wanting a laptop for a long time so I am psyched about it. I get it this weekend.

Oh, and I still need a job :-)

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Comments {4}

Brittyn

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from: brittyn
date: May. 13th, 2005 05:23 am (UTC)
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aww thanks, i'm glad i wasn't annoying with the stuff i was making you watch. i actually didn't make you watch as much as other people! hahah

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Jerry Federspiel

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from: jpfed
date: May. 30th, 2005 02:04 pm (UTC)
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I was browsing for other users interested in Pov-ray when I found this journal. I'm sorry if this constitutes an unwelcome intrusion.

When things that were enjoyable to me aren't anymore, it's generally because there is a different concern that I have been avoiding/ not acknowledging.

Let us imagine that there is a scheduler inside our heads like in an operating system kernel, deciding what gets our attention from moment to moment. The scheduler knows what we need (or strongly want) and puts other threads (corresponding to those things we don't need or want as strongly) on lower priorities. Even if we don't actually do anything about that need or want- even if we avoid even thinking about it- our other concerns or activities are diminished in their perceived importance.

If this is the case, then the avoided or unacknowledged topic has to be addressed so that everything else can get your full, undistracted attention.

I apologize again if this comment constitutes an intrusion.

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Daniel Patrick Johnson

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from: teknotus
date: Jun. 2nd, 2005 09:05 am (UTC)
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If I didn't want random people to post I would have set the message to only let friends post, or even only let friends see it. I'm not one of those people who is silly, and gets mad when people do things I am practically inviting them to do.

I used a povray made user icon for my response. Probably the most complicated thing I ever made. An octet truss sphere. I could do it better now, but I became interested in the idea of making my own renderer. Partly for the challenge, partly because I have some ideas of how to do things differently, and partly because povray is one of the few things I have installed that doesn't have a free software license, and I want a full featured replacement where I am allowed to edit the source code.

As far as your statement about why I have had trouble starting stuff you are probably right, and I think I know the things that I have been avoiding that I need to deal with. Thanks.

Mind if I add you to my friends list?

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Jerry Federspiel

(no subject)

from: jpfed
date: Jun. 4th, 2005 07:56 am (UTC)
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Re: adding friends: sure, go ahead. I've pre-emptively reciprocated.

Re: making your own renderer: that's awesome! I'm really curious as to what you would do differently from POV. I hope that there's a time when you can, without reservation, give this idea the attention it deserves.

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